If you’ve had occasion to take an Uber have you ever found yourself wondering why they've taken a particular route when you'd have chosen rather differently! This recently happened to me, but then I checked myself as I realised that it didn't matter, the price had been agreed in advance and we were going in the right direction - I wasn't being kidnapped!
Sometimes relinquishing control is an important part of moving forward. Not everything has to be agreed in advance or micromanaged. Sometimes it’s good to let things happen organically, in their own time and way. Let others use their initiative and play their part. You'll get there, one way or another! It’s not necessary to oversee and supervise everything in life.
But Some Situations Prompt A Need To Micromanage
At times, stress and anxiety can cause us to be concerned that if we’re not in control things may not work out well, or may even go badly wrong. But there’s unlikely to be a catastrophe and even if things don’t work out the way we’d hoped it could actually result in unexpected opportunities, as in discovering alternative ways of doing things, getting to know each other better or building memorable moments within the team. Something that’s initially perceived as negative may well deliver valuable life lessons and experiences.
A relationship breakup can cause us to feel vulnerable, exposed and determined to micromanage every decision in an effort to reinstate some control over our lives. When much in our orbit is in disarray it can be scary, unnerving and overwhelming. But instead of immediately reacting, just breathe, let things take their time and allow life to settle down.
A work environment can sometimes prompt a significant desire to micromanage. There may be concerns that other people are better, faster or more efficient. Or there may be fears that errors and faults could be discovered in our way of working.
A new job or promotion can cause stress and the need to prove that we’re coping well and are deserving of the trust and responsibility that’s been placed in us. Sometimes, however, Imposter Syndrome may surface and significantly threaten our confidence and self-belief.
Equally, delivering a presentation can be stressful and prompt the need to micromanage and script every aspect of what’s to be said. However a presentation often works better and is more relatable to when it appears relaxed and spontaneous, rather than a tightly worded script. This allows the speaker to adapt to the mood of the audience, gauge what’s of interest and move with the flow.
Allowing others to do things in their own way often provides opportunities for them to enhance their skills and experience. People who are micromanaged can become demotivated and simply do what they’re told, so losing their ability or inclination to problem-solve, be resourceful or innovative. Why bother if they’re constantly being supervised and corrected every time they stray slightly off piste!
Maintaining good, regular communications with staff allows any areas where they may be struggling or feel inadequately trained, proficient and experienced to be quickly pinpointed. Staff appraisals, meet-ups and a positive approach to feedback and new ideas provides opportunities for staff to feel confident and comfortable about speaking up and saying if they have ideas or experience difficulties, have issues or need clarification or further training on an aspect of their job. Their development and subsequent success can then be encouraged and supported.
Providing an environment where staff become increasingly autonomous and take on more responsibility allows them to discover new skills and become valuable team members. It can also free up space in our diary for us to do other things and maybe even take half a day off work! Staff then become empowered to become more confident as they relax into their roles, deliver new ideas, a fresh approach, better ways of working and become more engaged in their jobs. A win/win situation for all concerned!
Personal relationships may become micromanaged if we feel our partner isn’t as competent or motivated as we are. They may have different priorities, or be viewed as too laid back, but it can affect the dynamics of a relationship if one person assumes the role of mother/supervisor, constantly issuing lists and instructions. Not an especially rewarding situation for anyone! Communicating how you feel, perhaps in regular honest conversations, or even through relationship counselling can help both appreciate their role in establishing a better, more evenly balanced partnership.
In the home, new parents are often justifiably protective of their children. But several research projects have found that even young children, when uninterrupted and left to their own devices, are excellent problem-solvers. When children are safely supervised from a distance they’re observed concentrating and working things out for themselves, thus promoting confidence, resourcefulness and the ability to become more self-sufficient.
If we ever feel challenged or in awe of someone, our confidence may be shaken. This can prompt the need to step up and micromanage. At times like that it’s important to pause and remind ourselves of our skills, experience, of our previous accomplishments, results and positive feedback, thus allowing us to calm, collect our thoughts and continue.
We all have something to offer and everyone benefits when each are able to contribute their input and skills. We can then pause the need to monitor every step of the process. Often an overview is perfectly sufficient, rather than providing a detailed, micromanaged breakdown.
About the Author - This piece was written by Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist Find out more by visiting her website here
